GameStop’s Has a Hail Mary Plan to Save the Business

GameStop has a plan to save it’s business in a world that is becoming more comfortable downloading games and less interested in overpaying for used titles.

Think less seedy pawn shop, and more Apple Store, I suppose.

GRAPEVINE, Texas, July 15, 2019 (GLOBE NEWSWIRE) — GameStop Corp. (NYSE: GME), today announced a strategic partnership with global innovation design firm, R/GA, to strengthen its focus on creating unique in-store experiences as part of its strategic move in re-affirming its place in the video gaming culture.
The partnership with R/GA’s Austin and Chicago teams is part of GameStop’s broader business transformation strategy to evolve its efforts in cultivating innovative customer-centric opportunities to bring video game culture to life in every neighborhood. GameStop’s renewed customer-first focus stems from qualitative and quantitative research led by GameStop and R/GA that identified four major motivations gaming fans have for playing video games – immersion, achievement, creativity and community.
Together, GameStop and R/GA are developing and piloting new and streamlined physical store concepts, introducing new ways for gamers to try new titles before they buy them, and giving stores a unique layout and purpose that appeal to gamers. From store concepts that offer competitive sessions in home-grown e-Leagues to locations that sell strictly retro gaming software and hardware, GameStop will pilot the new store concepts in a select market to present something new to players both old and new, and searching for experiences in gaming beyond the console.
“We’re on a journey to use our vast retail footprint to provide an engaging and well-thought-out experience that enhances our consumers’ gaming interests. Among its many strengths is R/GA’s ability to leverage consumer insights and technology to reimagine the experience our consumers can have in our physical space. Our investment in this partnership is the next stage of our transformation and growth strategy,” said Frank Hamlin, Chief Customer Officer at GameStop.
According to the research, video games are no longer just a form of entertainment, but are a fundamental part of the fabric of a modern customer’s life. This consumer believes gaming is the most immersive, most challenging, most creative and most inclusive form of entertainment and vibrant storytelling available, and in many cases is an important facet of their identity. No other specialty retailer understands this more than GameStop. As the world’s largest video game retailer, it appreciates gaming fans’ thirst for compelling experiences, immersive adventures and virtual world escapism.
“GameStop has always had a role in the gaming ecosystem,” said Candice Hahn, SVP, Managing Director at R/GA’s Austin office. “We’re focused on filling the needs and desires of gamers, and amplifying the core assets of the business, to turn GameStop into a reimagined format for its consumer base of today and tomorrow.”

GameStop

Not sure this is going to be enough. Too little, too late.

[Source: GameStop]

The First Allotment of Nintendo Switch Pre-Orders Are Gone

Nintendo of America’s president and chief operating officer, Reggie Fils-Aime, has promised that 2 million Nintendo Switch consoles will be available at launch. That’s a large number, surely that is enough to go around. Then you realize that the 2 million is worldwide, and you come to the realization, that this thing is still going to be hard to come by.

Case and point, the first allotment of pre-orders are all spoken for at GameStop.

“The fact that this initial allotment has been completely reserved in a matter of a few days demonstrates gamers desire for this fun and revolutionary gaming system,” said Bob Puzon, senior vice president of merchandising at GameStop. “We’re working closely with Nintendo to get additional Nintendo Switch units, and will let our customers know when they become available. We encourage customers to visit http://www.gamestop.com/switch and sign up to be get updates about the product and availability.”

That’s a bummer, but not at all surprising.

European GameStops Taking Switch Pre-Orders

We’re 9 days away until Nintendo reveals more information about the Switch. Hopefully they will provide details on pricing and a launch date, but in the meantime, European GameStops will gladly take your money for a pre-order, as per Nintendolife.com.

The image above was captured from GameStop Ireland.  Yes, GameStop Ireland is just being a wee bit conservative with their pricing estimate, but not as conservative as GameStop Germany.

I’m going to go out on a limb, but I’d say just wait it out until Nintendo’s big reveal on January 13. What’s the worst that could happen? It’s not like these things will be hard to find once it’s released, right? RIGHT?

GameStop CEO Very Impressed by Nintendo Switch

GameStop had their earnings call today to investors, and CEO Tim Raines is very impressed by what he saw from the Nintendo Switch.

Via Gamespot:

“The Nintendo Switch, which I played at Nintendo a few weeks ago, we believe could be another game-changer that will expand the audience for gaming… The Switch is a very interesting device…. A movement-related game is more fun for kids, you know… you can really do a lot of interesting things with that in gameplay… I think it has tremendous potential as a game-changer. We’ll have to wait and see. Like everything else in this industry, the consumers will vote with their dollars.”

This is the now the second executive that has come out recently with very good impressions of the Switch. Earlier this week, Bethesda’s Todd Howard praised console.

I can’t help but feel that Nintendo has some sort of ace up their sleeve regarding the console. I can be wrong, but it seems both Howard and Raines know something that the general public is not aware of yet. We will know in January, when Nintendo releases more information, I suppose.

Retro Games Now Available at All GameStop Stores

Looks like the retro game pilot program GameStop had going on at a few select stores was successful, as you can now go into any GameStop and trade in your retro games, systems, and controllers. Just don’t expect to make a ton of money, but I’m sure you already know that. We are talking about GameStop after all.

I’m hard on GameStop at times, but deep down inside, I do like them. I especially like my local GameStop where the associates there are affable, however, I don’t take advantage of GameStop’s trade-in program, because it does feel like I’m getting ripped off, and to be quite frank, their retro trade-ins and the pricing for much of the hardware and software available seems bit off a rip-off as well.

However, if you’re into retro-gaming, and money is no object, or you’re will to pay a premium for convenience, or you want that piece of mind that what your buying is going to work, you now have another option available.

Below is a screen cap of GameStop’s retro offerings.

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Buying Games Used to be Convoluted, but Magical

Buying a game today is a non-event. You simply go to a store, pick up the game, walk to the checkout and pay for it. Some retailers, like Target or Walmart, keep them behind a display (CLASSY), which requires the extra step of asking a kind associate for assistance, that is if you can find one.

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GameStop keeps their games behind the checkout, so you need to ask for a copy, which in return they would ask if you pre-ordered it, which my response is was, NO I DIDN’T FUCKING PRE-ORDER IT, BUT YOU HAVE A STACK OF 100 OF THEM BACK THERE SO GIVE ME ONE GODDAMNIT! I have a love/hate relationship with GameStop. It’s one of the reasons why I don’t buy physical copies of games anymore and just download them, like a civilized person. I have also been told that I have a tendency of over reacting.

Back in the day however, there was a process that must be followed when purchasing a game. This was especially the case at Toys R Us, which was my retailer of choice to buy games when I was a kid.

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This unique process, employed by Toys R Us, has been embedded and buried into the depths of my mind. This memory was only uncovered recently after watching a documentary about Tony Robbins on Netflix late one evening.

During this documentary, Tony Robbins, motivational speaker, life coach, self-help guru, and cosmetic dentistry enthusiast, demonstrated an exercise that helps uncover long lost memories. These memories, often times deeply buried, are both positive and negative, but none-the-less, make you the person that you are today. These memories can be very powerful and one can harness them, helping to make you a stronger person.

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With that said, after trying this memory dredging exercise myself, I have no fucking idea why I remembered, and quite vividly I might add, the convoluted and confusing video game buying process employed by Toys R Us from when I was a child.  It’s apparent that my brain is broken. No memories of early vacations, or interactions with my grandparents, birthdays, holidays, or even traumatic events. Nope, I remembered how Toys R Us made the process of buying video games akin to a trip to the Department of Motor Vehicles.

For those of you who are too young to remember, or may have forgotten, back in the 80’s and the early to mid-90’s, Toys R Us used a ticketing system for the majority of their large and or expensive products. One would walk down the aisle, find a display of the product they wanted to purchase, select a ticket, take it to the register, pay, and then someone would get you the product you purchased.  If you bought a bicycle, someone would bring you a box of an unassembled bicycle. If you bought swing set, someone would bring you a swing set, et cetera.

Many Toys R Us stores still employ this method, as it does make sense, and it is efficient for large bulky items. Toys R Us used this method for pricier things as well years ago, such as electronics and especially video games.

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As a child, I remember going down the video game aisle and seeing rows and rows of plastic flip cards for games.  The front had the box art and the back had some screen shots and a description. Essentially, it was a representation of the box.  And just below each game, there was a pouch with the fabled Toys R Us item ticket.

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I have vivid memories of going into Toys R Us with my mom or dad to pick up a particular game, only to encounter an empty ticket pouch stating that the game was out of stock and be an utterly devastated 8-year-old. Perhaps it was a mistake. Maybe some asshole took all the tickets and hid them somewhere in the store for some nefarious reason?  Maybe the store just got more in stock and didn’t replenish the tickets? A quick trip to customer service would always validate my fears. The game was indeed sold out.

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More often than not, the game that I wanted was in stock, and I would select my ticket and excitedly go to the front cash registers, like a demented Charlie Bucket, but instead of a golden ticket to Willy Wonka’s chocolate factory, I was buying what was most likely a forgettable and utterly average NES side scroller.

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After paying for the game at one of the cash registers, the cashier would staple your receipt to the ticket and that is where the magic begins. You then head off to what appeared to be as an excitable child, a plexiglass monolith of electronic and video game goodness. Sadly, all images of this structure no longer exists.  All my image searches came up empty. The image below is the closest representation I could find.

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Within the confines of this structure were stacks of every gaming console imaginable—NESs, Sega Master Systems, Gameboys, and random Atari garbage. Later on there would be the Genesis, SNES, TurboGrafx 16, and holy shit, was that a Neo Geo? Also housed in the clear monolith were games. Stacks upon stacks of games.

Eventually, a sales associate would be called down to get the game that you payed for. A lethargic and disinterested looking teenager would unlock the door, take your ticket, and then attempt to locate your purchased game among the stacks of other games. I say attempt, because they would inevitably pass over your game a half dozen times before zeroing in on it.

IT’S RIGHT OVER THERE MOTHERFUCKER!

…I totally would have said that—if my father wasn’t standing there and would have totally beaten the shit out of me, right there in the store. Remember, this was the 1980’s, parents got away with doing that, and if he got tired slapping me around in public, another parent would have come over and beat me while my father caught his breath.  It takes a village to raise children properly, you know.

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Eventually, the teenager would locate your game and hand it over.  I would stare at the box the entire car ride home.  Sometimes, I could not help myself and I would open it up to flip through the instruction manual. Those were the good old days, when games had instruction manuals. The best games had meaty manuals, that contained some back story and a list of enemies.

On a slightly darker side, I also clearly remembered how my friends and I used to scheme during lunch on an Ocean’s 11 caliber plan to infiltrate that plexiglass fortress and make off with all the goodies inside. It was our casino bank vault, ripe for the picking, that is of course if you had a good plan, the right people, and the guts to pull it off such an amazing heist.

oceans11

I bet you thought the Clooney version, right? Nope, I’m talking about the infinitely cooler Rat Pack Ocean’s 11.

There were even legends of kids who had found a way in and made off with a handful of carts (or even consoles, depending on who you asked).  These kids then conveniently moved away to other towns, cities and even states, so it could never be confirmed or denied if the story was true or even learn how they pulled it off. Sometimes the tales were cautionary and the kid got caught, sent to juvey and became a hardened criminal. These stories were all legends, who knew if there was any shred of truth to them. (DEFINITELY NOT)

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Risks of juvenile detention aside, my friends and I would speak in hushed tones and plan our caper. Danny would buy a cheap game so that someone would need to unlock the booth. Brucie would wait by the booth and fake a heart attack when the sales associate unlocks the door, causing a commotion and a distraction. Johnny would then go into the booth with a garbage bag and take as much as he can. He’ll then hand the haul off to Jimmy, who’s waiting outside on his bike. It was so crazy; it just might work!  SHHHHHHHH. A teacher’s aid was walking by, she’s onto us. CHANGE THE SUBJECT!

escape_alcatraz-lunch
Also, in the 80’s all of my friend’s names had to end in “-y” or ”-ie” for some reason.

We never did follow through with our plan. It was too risky, and too stupid. Deep down inside, we knew it would never work. We would have been caught in an instant, and our parents would have been called. They would then take turns beating the shit out of us in public.

It was the 80’s, after all. That’s how things were. It takes a village to raise children properly, you know.

Selling Games Online is Like the Wild West – But I Can’t Shoot Anyone

It truly is amazing the amount of crap I have accumulated over the years. You find that special someone, move in together, eventually get married, and one day, you realize that you have no more room to store all your stuff.

When I moved in with the girl who would eventually become my wife, we lived in a tiny fourth floor walk-up in Manhattan. There was room for the barest essentials. Not like it mattered—rent was expensive and we were just starting our careers, so we didn’t have much to begin with.

However, we climbed that corporate ladder, started making some more money, and were able to afford bigger places and the ability to buy things—Many, many things. We moved into a bigger apartment, and after a few years, an even bigger apartment. A few years later, we bought an actual house, just like grownups.

Houses, by their nature, have multiple rooms, even our quaint one. My wife and I proceed to fill those rooms with even more things. Finally, one day, the wife and I were struck at all the shit we accumulated.  We felt cramped and suffocated. It was time to unload. We made a conscience effort to de-clutter and downsize. We wanted our space again. We wanted to simplify.

Furniture, appliances, clothes, accessories, electronics, and various sundries were listed online. We became experts of Craig’s List, eBay, and our personal favorite, Facebook Virtual Garage Sales.

It’s amazing what people will buy on a Facebook Virtual Sale. Things we were willing to throw away, were listed for shits and giggles for a few dollars and to our surprise, people would buy them. People purchased things like old coffee machines, tattered rugs, scratched furniture, and all things we considered garbage. Folks were literally buying our trash.

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Simplifying our space even galvanized us to simplify our budget. We took the leap and cut the chord, forgoing cable for just the Internet, and we have not missed it one bit. We became a streamlined household, physically and fiscally and it feels great.

Of course, I did my part as well.  There were many gaming related items that I decided to unload. Old physical copies of games, various accessories, consoles, you name it—they were going to be put up for sale.

Selling games and hardware online was not something entirely new to me.  I’ve done it a few times before, but I was more apt to trade things in at GameStop for credit. This time around though, I was going to attempt to get top dollar online for cold hard cash. CAPITALISM!

monopoly

The first thing I noticed is that selling games is going to attract a very different audience than selling a coffee table. Soccer mom’s are interested in coffee tables, because they read an article in Better Homes and Gardens on how to turn old furniture into shabby chic masterpieces and they are looking to do a project. Meanwhile, freaks, mouth breathers, criminals, and generally people without a modicum of social skill came out of the woodwork for my gaming stuff.

Take the PlayStation TV I listed for example. I got guys who wanted me to deliver the item to them, 50 miles from my house. I got guys who wanted me to ship it to them. I got guys who acted seemingly normally, until it was time to arrange for a place to meet and then got cold feet when I said to meet me at a public place, perhaps because their master plan involved stabbing me in the face.

I eventually sold it to a guy who refused to get out of his car, I had to hand the PlayStation TV to him through the window and he handed me cash. If the police drove by, they would have thought that I was selling this guy crack or a blowjob.

drug-dealer

Then there was the guy who wanted to buy a PS4 controller.  I was selling the controller for just $30 and it was like new and hardly used, but he kept trying to talk me down. I finally told him that the price was firm and I was moving on to the next person. He capitulated and agreed to meet at a public place. After showing up 30 minutes late, he looked over the controller, and asked if I’d take $25, I took it back and began to walk out when he agreed to pay the agreed upon price.

The weirdos really came out though when I listed my Xbox One Elite controller. I used it only a couple of times and realized that my meat hooks and sausage fingers were just too large. I kept hitting the bumpers accidentally and removed them. I paid a premium for what is essentially a nicer Xbox One controller, so I decided to pack it all up, put it back in the box and listed it on Craig’s List. This was a mistake.

The Elite controller is a hot item apparently. It’s pretty much sold out everywhere. Not to mention, the one I was selling was practically new and listed for $125 a savings of $25. I started getting responses immediately.

Craig’s List, is supposed to act like a local classified. I would post to the North Jersey page and people from North Jersey would find my post and then contact me, right? Why then, are there people from the next fucking state responding to my classified?

Will you Ship

This guy was my first respondent, so I was relatively nice to him and simply told him no. He tried to get someone local to meet me, but could not work it out, which is a shame, because the guy seemed normal, so I moved on.

The next guy was possibly illiterate, as he kept asking me questions that would have been answered if he simply read my post. He also was trying to lower the price, which was firm.

He finally agrees on the $125 price, and we make arrangements to meet, and then I get the following text.

Buyer Text

What’s funny is after all this back and forth; he flakes out and asks to meet at later times twice. I know that shit happens, but this deal became to sour in my book and I moved on to the next person. What’s funny is that this flake never contacted me again. It was like I dreamed the entire thing.

Luckily, the next person in line was normal. He agreed on the price and location, got there early, and was pleasant. No muss, no fuss.

So, happy ending, right? Not necessarily. I forgot to delete my Craig’s List post and got a few more responses, including this gem.

You Take 80

This dude struck a nerve with me. I love the written word and take umbrage when people butcher it.

Also, how does distance impact the price of something? Where the fuck did you learn how to haggle? How does distance impact the price? How is where you live my problem? Why don’t you go ahead and watch more American Pickers or Pawn Stars on the History Channel, because all of the sudden, everyone is an expert in dickering.

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I especially like how in the end, he throws in how he already bought one for $70 and was no longer interested, all this in a span of eleven hours, in the middle of the night. Some people just feel the need to make it seem like they won. So I did what I do best. I gave a passive aggressive sarcastic response.

Fortunately, I think I’m done selling stuff, at least for a little while. The wife and I feel like we purged enough. When the time does come to unload more stuff, I think I’ll avoid Craig’s List. It’s not worth the aggravation. Simply put, it’s a wretched hive of scum and villainy. (Gratuitous Star Wars Quote)

Have any horror stories of selling used games online? Let me know in the comments.

 

Last Minute Gaming Gifts to Give to People You Hate – Holiday 2015

The holidays are here and my wife is spending us into oblivion. I don’t see why we have to buy presents for EVERYONE. Isn’t Christmas supposed to be just for the children?

And no, my wife’s cousins, who are in their late teens and twenties DO NOT fucking count as children anymore. They are in college, or recently graduated and have jobs. If anything, they should be buying my 3 year-old daughter Christmas presents now. The statute of limitations (or something) of buying Christmas presents for them is over. Oh, they made a Christmas list? So did I, and there is only one thing on it, and that is:

“Santa, please don’t let the bank foreclose on my house when my wife spends the mortgage payment on Christmas gifts.”

Christmas has become overly commercialized and tiresome, but if I have to buy a gift, then you better believe that I’m going to buy you something horrible and passive aggressive. With that said, here’s my top five gaming gifts to give to people you hate. Merry fucking Christmas

5. Kinect for Xbox One or the Xbox 360

kinect-xbox-one1For all the impressive technology housed within a Kinect, boy does this thing suck. No one knows how to actually make interesting games for this thing, INCLUDING Microsoft.

The Kinect is actually one of the main contributors to Microsoft losing its lead to Sony when they launched the Xbox One. The act of including a Kinect in the box made the Xbox One $100 more expensive than the PS4. Also, the Xbox One, which is already negligibly inferior graphically to the PS4 was further hampered by the fact that developers were locked out of hardware resources specifically set aside to support Kinect. What dipshit actually thought this was a good idea?

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Oh that’s right. I forgot.

I recently disconnected the Kinect from my Xbox One and sold it off to someone for $50 on a Facebook virtual garage sale. I feel like I took advantage of this person. I feel dirty and ashamed. The only way I could have made this worse is if I followed this guy home, broke into his house and kicked his dog. I used the $50 from this sale to buy a bottle of Scotch and washed away the shame.

4. X360 Special Forces Headset

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The promotional copy for this product states that you will “Communicate with precision and style with the Special Forces Headset for Xbox 360 from CTA Digital. What makes this headset unique is its throat microphone, which is sensitive enough to pick up a whisper yet clear enough for everyone to hear you in the game environment.”

Indeed, nothing is more stylish than a “throat microphone.” All the racist 12-year-olds online, who can’t see you anyway, will be mightily impressed and jealous while they teabag your lifeless body.

I am assuming that this will help the mouth breathers out there, who can’t help exhaling into their microphones. Sometimes when I’m playing online I’m not sure if the heavily breathing person who I’m playing with is a fat Halo fanboy or some creep masturbating to the sound of my voice. Perhaps it’s both?

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The user reviews for this product have not been kind. My favorite is from OgreKing on GameStop.com who writes:

“People have no trouble hearing me, but they can’t understand what im [sic] saying. It sounds like your [sic] talking through a kinect mic. Other than that it works as intended.

So essentially, OgreKing (if that’s your REAL NAME) believes that the X360 Special Forces Headset works like shit, which is exactly what the manufacturer intended.

3. “2 in 1” Comfort Grip for PS4

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This product confuses me on many levels. First of all, I have no idea what this product looks like.  There are no images of it on the GameStop.com website, so I provided a picture of a bear on a bicycle, because I’ve always wanted to and never had a reason to, until now.

Reading the promotional copy does not provide any more insight as to what this product is supposed to do either.

Cut fatigue and keep your controller in great shape. Custom cutouts fit like a glove, No more excuses!
•    Custom textured joystick covers
•    Protect your controller from dust and scratches
•    Precision cutouts for each button, joystick and the D-Pad
•    Non-slip material with ribbed grip for better control & enhanced gaming performance
•    Soft-touch silicone material

The good news is that this product is dirt cheap at just $9.99 (or £5,000,000… probably). The bad news is that this is probably a repurposed sex toy given that it has a “ribbed grip” and “soft-touch silicone.”

2. Toad Wii U Fight Pad Controller

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BECAUSE NO ONE LIKES YOU TOAD!

1. Pyramat Video Game Lounger

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Folks, don’t buy video game furniture for yourself. If you receive video game furniture from a friend or family member, you should question your relationship with them, because they secretly hate you.

Gentlemen, video game furniture are vagina repellents. Girls will leave Back to the Future quality flaming tire marks out of your house if they see this thing in your living room or bedroom.

 

Ladies, honestly it doesn’t matter if you own this thing or not, because guys will pretty much screw anything.

The promotional copy is also hilarious:

“Take your gaming experience to the next level! Reclining in comfort while listening to powerful built-in speakers and a subwoofer you’ll hear and feel your games as never before! Easy to use audio controls and easy access inputs and multiplayer connection allow you to tailor the experience and bring your friends along for the ride! Sturdy construction ensures excellent comfort and a long life!”

First of all, if you own this thing, you will have no friends. Secondly, it’s good that this thing is built “sturdily” because you will be using it a lot, by yourself.

All in all, the Pyramat Video Game Lounger is the best gift to get someone you hate. It’s relatively cheap, takes up a lot of space, and will ruin their sex life. It’s scores the Christmas trifecta in passive aggressive resentment.

Have your own ideas on what gifts to get people you hate. Let me know in the comments.

Have a happy, healthy, and safe Holiday.

​Thanks for Ruining my Birthday, GameStop

Getting old sucks. I’m sorry if that sounds cliché, but it’s the truth. Everyone reaches a point in their lives when they realize that having yet another birthday is not as quaint as it used to be, and that the anniversary of your birth is just a grim reminder that you are one year closer to dying.

When you’re a child birthdays are great for the obvious reasons—you get a party and gifts. As you get older, you then get milestone birthdays. Turning 10 years old is a big deal as you have managed to stay alive for a decade. At thirteen, you’re officially a teenager and get to look forward to awkwardness and raging hormones.

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If you’re a girl, and from Latin America, you get a Quinceañera when you turn fifteen and I have no fucking clue what this is nor do I care. American girls meanwhile celebrate a sweet sixteen, probably for the same reason that Latin girls celebrate Quinceañeras. European girls? I have no clue and don’t care.

In most places in America, turning seventeen means you can legally drive, which is a big deal. Also in the states, when one turns eighteen, you’re officially an adult. You can vote and join the military, BUT DON’T EVEN THINK ABOUT DRINKING A BEER KIDDO, for that you have to wait until your twenty-one.

Unless of course you’re European, in which case the legal drinking age is five years old, or so I’ve heard.

Unless of course you’re European, in which case the legal drinking age is five years old, or so I’ve heard.

I’m sorry to say, but after one’s twenty-first birthday, birthdays begin to lose their luster and when you hit thirty, they become downright depressing.

Take my latest birthday for example. Last Monday, I turned thirty-six. I have nothing witty or cute to say about that. This was the first birthday where I thought to myself, “Man, I’m feeling old.”

As if feeling old and depressed was enough, everything was exasperated by the fact that leading up to my actual birthday, I had to attend two separate funerals and my daughter came down with strep throat. Thank you god for making this week so special.

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No worries Spieler Dad!

Suffice it to say, traveling back and forth to two funerals in two states while caring for a sick child sucks. And just when I think it cannot get possibly worse, I get reminded that yes, it can indeed get worse.

Happy BD GS

Is it possible that GameStop is offering me a good deal on something? There are games coming out that indeed I want to buy. For a brief moment, I was legitimately excited and started to come out of my funk. That is until I read further and realized this sweet deal was on used games only.

Happy BD GS 01I know that some of you care a great deal about used games, but I personally could care less. I also don’t care in helping GameStop’s bottom line by perpetuating their stranglehold on the used game market.

I especially don’t care in giving GameStop gift cards to other stores, in which they will pay me a fraction of what they are actually worth, because yes, they do that too apparently.

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In hindsight, I’m actually amazed. The past week I had to deal with death(s), illness, and the fact that I am indeed becoming an old man, and out of all of these things, the worst thing that happened to me is getting this e-mail from GameStop.

Congratulations GameStop. You never cease to amaze me.

Do Not Spend Your Tax Refund at GameStop 

It’s pretty obvious that GameStop’s marketing and communications department has an editorial calendar. It seems that every holiday or event throughout the year, GameStop deploys an e-mail saying that it’s a perfect reason to go to one of their horrible stores.

Sometimes, these communications make sense. Christmas, Thanksgiving, and other major holidays work, because retailers have turned these days into major shopping events, replete with sales. Sometimes these are a stretch, as I detailed in a post two weeks ago where GameStop wanted people to spend Valentine’s Day at their stores, using GameStop’s predatory credit card.

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Now, I’m starting to get bombarded by e-mails from GameStop regarding Tax Day, which in the US is on April 15. It’s a joyous time of year, where you get to stress out over tax forms, bureaucracy, and possible audits and fines. If you’re organized and prepared, maybe sent your tax forms in already and if have a good accountant who COOKS THE BOOKS, you could be in store for a nice refund check. GameStop, more than anything, wants you to blow this refund check at one of their shitty stores.

I received four variations of this e-mail.

I received four variations of this e-mail.

FULL DISCLOSURE: I do not know how tax season works outside of the United States, because deep down inside, I’m an ignorant American. Do Canadians have a tax season? Do they get refunds in cash, or are they paid with maple syrup and gift cards to Tim Hortons? Both options are DELICIOUS!

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I can’t say that I know much on how taxes works elsewhere either. I’m assuming in Europe, the government just takes away your entire paycheck so that they can subsidize everything. In Australia, I can see a large chunk of your pay being taken out in order to pay for protection from Mother Nature, as the entire continent is inhabited with animals that are actively trying to kill you.

I’m going to put on my old man hat and say that wherever you are, if you get a refund on your taxes, spend it wisely. Pay off some or all of your debt or invest. And when I say invest, it doesn’t needs to be in stocks, but it certainly could be. You can invest it in yourself, by taking some classes, joining a gym, and simply getting in some self-development. Or, god forbid, you can sock the money away and save it for the inevitable rainy day.

By all means, if you get a windfall of cash, go ahead and treat yourself to something, but spend it wisely, and as your dear old granny used to say, don’t blow it all in one place.

Okay, with the serious stuff out of the way, let’s get back to the silliness. I always try to include a list in my posts and this is no exception. So without further delay, here is my top 10 holidays that GameStop is probably considering doing a tie-in promotion along with inappropriate headline.

 Jan 04 World Braille Day – Can’t you SEE that GameStop has the best deals around?

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Jan 22 Roe vs. Wade Day – You’re not going to want to ABORT these awesome deals from GameStop

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Jun 19 Emancipation Day – Feel LIBERATED by shopping at GameStop.

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Aug 06-09 Hiroshima & Nagasaki Day – This GameStop sale is the BOMB!

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Aug 24 Vesuvius Day – GameStop is having an ERUPTION of savings!

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Sep 2 National Beheading Day– You’ll lose your head when you see these savings.

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Sep 18 National Attention Deficit Disorder Awareness Day – FOCUS in on GameStop for huge savings

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Oct 12 Native American Day – GameStop is now taking RESERVATIONS on the hottest holiday games.

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Oct 22 International Stuttering Awareness Day – These D-D-D-DEALS are A-A-A-A-AWESOME!

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Dec 02 Special Education Day – Hop on the short bus to savings

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