Tim Sweeney is Apparently Clueless When it Comes to Playing a Nintendo Switch

Tim Sweeney, founder and CEO of Epic Games is a smart and ridiculously wealthy man. In case you didn’t know, Epic, which used to crank out regular, cool games now specializes in one major money maker known as Fortnite. Long story short, because of Fortnite, Sweeney has Scrooge McDuck levels of cash.

However, being a billionaire and CEO of a multi-billion dollar company is simply not enough. So Epic is suing Apple for ALL THE MONEY! Epic has made a case that the Apple’s App store is a monopoly which restricts end user’s options to play games across devices due to Apple’s walled garden approach to iOS devices.

To prove their point that iPhones are much more convenient for gaming on the go than say, a console, Epic’s lawyers brought in a Nintendo Switch and iPhone so that Sweeney can demonstrate on the stand.

Sweeney stated that he uses a mobile phone while commuting, but to use a Switch on a train he’d need Wi-Fi and two devices to play, referring to the Joy-Cons. WHAT AN OUTRAGE!

Then the true comedy ensued, when Tim Sweeney struggled to get the Switch Joy-Cons connected. I’d like to imagine that he went full on informercial fail during his testimony, to prove his point.

Actual courtroom footage of Tim Sweeney playing a Nintendo Switch

“As you can see, I’m not a Switch player,” quipped Sweeney, to which U.S. District Judge Yvonne Gonzalez Rogers replied, “Well, now the world knows… That’s alright, neither am I.”

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA……. Shut up!

[Source: Bloomberg]

Apple / Epic Lawsuit Devolves into Battle of He Said She Said

Epic has sued Apple over anticompetitive practices surrounding its App Store leading to the massively popular Fortnite being delisted from Apple’s walled garden. Apple has now responded and the gloves are off.

Epic is trying to win in the court of public opinion, playing the part of plucky underdog going against a big bad corporate bully. Pretty funny since Epic is owned by Tencent, a Chinese conglomerate with a market valuation over $632 billion dollars, making it one of largest companies in the world, but what do I know?

Apple has now responded, stating that Epic asked for a special deal with Apple, releasing three emails from Epic CEO Tim Sweeney.

No so cool. I thought Epic was fighting for the little guy. The always vocal Tim Sweeney, responded in kind via Twitter.

All fine and good, but Apple is calling bullshit. Via CNBC, Apple’s filing on Friday August 21, Apple Senior Vice President Phil Schiller declared that “On June 30, 2020, Epic’s CEO Tim Sweeney wrote my colleagues and me an email asking for a ‘side letter’ from Apple that would create a special deal for only Epic that would fundamentally change the way in which Epic offers apps on Apple’s iOS platform…”

Ooooh burn. Things are getting interesting. Apple is not a warm and fluffy company, and they are not going to take this lying down. They are going to fight Epic tooth and nail on this one.

[Source: CNBC]

It’s Open Season Against Apple’s Totalitarian App Store Ecosystem

Microsoft threw some shade towards Apple earlier this week when they abruptly ended the xCloud Beta on iOS stating that “Apple stands alone as the only general purpose platform to deny consumers from cloud gaming and game subscription services like Xbox Game Pass. And it consistently treats gaming apps differently, applying more lenient rules to non-gaming apps even when they include interactive content.”

Now Epic, has jumped into the fray, leading to a delisting on the Apple App Store for its highest grossing title and a big fat lawsuit.

It all started when Epic, the developer of a massively popular digital daycare system called Fortnite began offering discounts on the game’s V-bucks currency, if gamers specifically bypassed Apple’s App Store, (as well as Google Play).

This discount amounted to up to 20 percent savings on purchases, while Epic gets to cut out Apple’s 30 percent slice it gets from third-party devs.

Hmmmm… I wonder which I should select.

Apple then retaliated by delisting Fortnite from their App Store.

A few hours later, Epic filed a lawsuit against apple, then released the video below, a solid middle finger and a hardy fuck you to Apple.

For those who are too young to remember (which is anyone who plays Fortnite), this is a parody of Apple’s iconic 1984 Super Bowl commercial for the Mac, which was a dig towards Microsoft. Now, Epic used it to poke at Apple.

Not good times for Apple. There is obviously some tension between them and the gaming industry. Two big companies have come out against Apple’s App Store policies and that can only open up the floodgates to more.

[Source: Forbe’s Marc Gurman via Twitter]

16-Year-Old Fortnite Champion Swatted During Live Stream

Kyle “Bugha” Giersdorf 

Kyle “Bugha” Giersdorf, a 16-year-old gaming wonderkind has become household name recently for winning $3 million during the Fortnite World Cup. However, some tool thought it would be hilarious to call the cops to Giersdorf’s home during a live stream.


According to Giersdorf:

“I got swatted… I was lucky because the one officer … he lives in our neighborhood. They come in with guns, bro. They literally pulled up… What if I just got popped?”

Twitch

Seriously, why the fuck do people still do this? It’s not funny and dare I say DANGEROUS. There, now I sound like an old man. Fuck these people for making me sound all responsible.

[Takes bong rip] There, that’s better.

Assholes: Stop swatting each other.

[Source: Twitch]

Epic’s Tim Sweeney Goes on Twitter to Explain Why His Epic Game Store Has a Hard On for Exclusives

Tim Sweeney only looks like he owns a windowless van, he’s actually ridiculously rich and is the founder of Epic Games. Epic also has a couple of things going for it, in case you didn’t know—like Fortnite and the bane of Valve’s existence, the Epic Games Store.

The Epic Games Store in particular has precious PC gamers all butt hurt, because Epic has been going hard locking down exclusives to beat their nemesis Steam.

I don’t think Sweeney needs to explain anything, he’s running a business and competing against Valve, and business can be ruthless. However he went onto Twitter to explain some shit:

Props to Sweeney for actually going on Twitter to explain his rationale. The responses were predictably trollish, but he tried none-the-less.

[Source: Twitter]

Epic Games Gives Pooped Dev Team 2 Week Summer Vacation

Epic Games, who used to make really great games, but now specializes in the wildly popular digital daycare known as Fortnite is giving their overworked dev teams a much needed two week vacation

According to a an official blog post:

“Following this week, the Epic office will be closed between June 24 – July 8. During that time, we will not have any official Fortnite Competitive Tournaments running. When we come back, our next prized tournament will be a Trios tournament on July 13th & 14th.

We will still have two content updates over these weeks and you’ll be able to get all the details in the patch notes as normal.”

Epicgames.com

Don’t freak out parents, the game is not shutting and it will continue to be supported. You won’t have to spend time with your ungrateful kids during this time if you don’t want to.

[Source: Epic Games]