Our Long National Nightmare is Over – Bioware Updates Photo of Imaginary Alien Girlfriend, Nerds Everywhere Rejoice

There is a classic SNL sketch that I remember from my childhood. In it, Bill Shatner is at a Star Trek convention being inundated with very specific questions. Dumbfounded by the detailed questions, Shatner finally tells the audience that they need to “get a life, it’s just a TV show.”

I’m a gamer, that should be obvious, but I never understood the uproar over a photo of imaginary alien girlfriend, Tali, from the Mass Effect trilogy. People need to get a life, it’s just a videogame.

After gamers spent hours romancing and fake porking Tali, apparently Bioware ruined the fantasy by not making her exotic enough is a small throw away cinematic later in the trilogy. To be clear, you never see her face in the game to begin with. She keeps her helmet out the entire time. Even in post coital bliss she’s in full gear. However, gamers were most taken out of the moment by this:

Credit: Some memelord

The answer is no. Bioware is not trying, because anyone in their right mind does not give a shit. The people who have a problem with this are the reason some people still look down at gamers. It perpetuates the myth that gamers are desperate creeps with a warped sense of reality.

I totally forgot that this was even a thing, but Bioware had to fuck with it and open up this old can of worms by “fixing” the problem.

You just couldn’t help yourself Bioware. You had to dredge this fetid fanboy shit back up from the depths. Just read this Reddit and cringe.

Speaking of fanboy shit, I’m loving the back and forth between Xbox and PS5 fans. I have both systems, so I don’t give a flying fuck, but Xbox fans have been putting up with crap for a long time and they are letting years of animosity out against Sony fanboys. Childish? You bet. Toxic? No doubt. But, it’s absolutely delicious watching this from the sidelines.

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