​Thanks for Ruining my Birthday, GameStop

Getting old sucks. I’m sorry if that sounds cliché, but it’s the truth. Everyone reaches a point in their lives when they realize that having yet another birthday is not as quaint as it used to be, and that the anniversary of your birth is just a grim reminder that you are one year closer to dying.

When you’re a child birthdays are great for the obvious reasons—you get a party and gifts. As you get older, you then get milestone birthdays. Turning 10 years old is a big deal as you have managed to stay alive for a decade. At thirteen, you’re officially a teenager and get to look forward to awkwardness and raging hormones.

Electra_Awkward_teen

If you’re a girl, and from Latin America, you get a Quinceañera when you turn fifteen and I have no fucking clue what this is nor do I care. American girls meanwhile celebrate a sweet sixteen, probably for the same reason that Latin girls celebrate Quinceañeras. European girls? I have no clue and don’t care.

In most places in America, turning seventeen means you can legally drive, which is a big deal. Also in the states, when one turns eighteen, you’re officially an adult. You can vote and join the military, BUT DON’T EVEN THINK ABOUT DRINKING A BEER KIDDO, for that you have to wait until your twenty-one.

Unless of course you’re European, in which case the legal drinking age is five years old, or so I’ve heard.

Unless of course you’re European, in which case the legal drinking age is five years old, or so I’ve heard.

I’m sorry to say, but after one’s twenty-first birthday, birthdays begin to lose their luster and when you hit thirty, they become downright depressing.

Take my latest birthday for example. Last Monday, I turned thirty-six. I have nothing witty or cute to say about that. This was the first birthday where I thought to myself, “Man, I’m feeling old.”

As if feeling old and depressed was enough, everything was exasperated by the fact that leading up to my actual birthday, I had to attend two separate funerals and my daughter came down with strep throat. Thank you god for making this week so special.

God-monty-python

No worries Spieler Dad!

Suffice it to say, traveling back and forth to two funerals in two states while caring for a sick child sucks. And just when I think it cannot get possibly worse, I get reminded that yes, it can indeed get worse.

Happy BD GS

Is it possible that GameStop is offering me a good deal on something? There are games coming out that indeed I want to buy. For a brief moment, I was legitimately excited and started to come out of my funk. That is until I read further and realized this sweet deal was on used games only.

Happy BD GS 01I know that some of you care a great deal about used games, but I personally could care less. I also don’t care in helping GameStop’s bottom line by perpetuating their stranglehold on the used game market.

I especially don’t care in giving GameStop gift cards to other stores, in which they will pay me a fraction of what they are actually worth, because yes, they do that too apparently.

GS 3

In hindsight, I’m actually amazed. The past week I had to deal with death(s), illness, and the fact that I am indeed becoming an old man, and out of all of these things, the worst thing that happened to me is getting this e-mail from GameStop.

Congratulations GameStop. You never cease to amaze me.

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